WHAT DA HECK IS GOING ON HERE?

Excellent. The plan is working perfectly.

We are, after all, a secret organization of hundreds of cybernetically-enhanced Yeti, allied by choice into loose autonomous roving bands of ENFORCERS for "Bob", whose one and only mission in life is to PREPARE THE NET for X-Day! Confusion, terror, and stark raving Slack are our primary tools in our unending quest to rid the Usenet of Spam, Warez, and MMF spew.

S.P.(U.T.U.)M.'s Mission:

To prepare the Net for X-Day by ridding our part of the Usenet (alt.binaries.slack) of ALL Spam, Warez, and MMF spew, SO THAT the BEES that POWER can mainline into our hippocampal pleasure centers the Wondrously pstuporKALIfragilistickexxpeloogie(haaaaack!)scrumdocious, ueberfantasticospiritualpsychoaudiovisuolfactogustatotactillacious experiences we need to reboot our quotidian neuronal Operating Systems into the HOLY RING 0 of the Executive Kernel of "Bob"!

S.P.(U.T.U.)M.'s Vision:

A Usenet free from glorp MMF viral meme replicating-, merehumerotic "ME-too send me ftp sites for naughty gifs of your dog"-, |/|/ar3z-trading pseudo-elite "Desperately Need Disk 3 of" hacker-dude wannabe-, terminally-clueless AOLer "testing testing testing everyone in the world send me e-mail to tell me if these 3000 messages got through on your forum"-, Spam Spam Spam Hideous SPAM spew.

S.P.(U.T.U.)M.'s Weapons:

Secrecy. Get it? We're not telling.

Right about now, you look like someone who needs the FAQ, Jack.

NEW! FIRST, you must read Doktor DynaSoar's Slack FAQ to discover just what it is we are seeking to protect.

Next, we suggest you proceed on to the alt.binaries.slack FAQ, where you can begin to get Clue One re our proactive CyberYeti philosophy. Those of you with short attention spans (yes, we mean you, Gen-X'ers!) can now link directly to our new Sputools® Page for a brief discussion of a small subset of our exoteric Tricks O' the Trade.

On the other hand, you may wish to contact S.P.(U.T.U.)M. As the Superannuated Agrarian Mythological Compendium and Canonical Mistranslation Collection states, "...strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto SPUTUM, and few there be that find it."

New! On the gripping hand, you may wish to peruse what the Internet press has to say about us {thanks, Doktor Mark!}:

Note: plonk.com site taken down per our arrangement with spammer in question.

Are you saying to yourself...