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Nicholson and Lips! That's all that movie was! Titus angled up to the urinal, and all of a sudden these guys started eyein' him kinda funnily... After a couple of whacks to the well-parted part of the behind, I'd say: "you ain't Dr Scott!" Where'd you get your degree from? A mail-order university? My relatives always hated me, because they were dumb and I was smart. Play it again. When I yell I wanna be heard. It's too hot in here Joe. You ever imagine the Pope sittin on a toilet? That's right! Take the present Pope and sit him on a toilet. Ya see, popes don't sit on toilets. Angels come and delicately take 'those things' away. If God were to make a toilet talk, and you were to receive teachin' from that toilet, then you would have no choice but to get out your wallet and to flush it down that toilet. God's not hung up on piddlin' sins. The problem is that some people go overboard and read more into the Pyramid than the Pyramid allows. And Noah was lyin' there, naked and drunk, for all to BEHOLD! If I had a dog as ugly as her, I'd shave its ass and teach it to walk backwards. Blow the damn speakers out Joe! And blow 'em out good! Jimmy Swaggart's a jerk. I should add another word there but I'll just leave it at that. For it was the time of the King's castration, and all the counts and no-accounts came to see the last of the King's balls. If Jake Hess claimed what Jesus claimed, I'd think Jake should be committed. But if Jake died and walked out of his tomb two days later, I'd take another look at Jake. We're gonna have a stare-down. It's like the guy who went to a doctor and said, 'Doc, I've got a ringin' in my ears.' The Doctor said, "don't answer it." God is like a woman. I can't remember when I didn't go to the funeral of a relative and say: "praise God they're gone!" Some people are saying they're going to call the army out on me! Hey, I haven't declared war on the United States! It gives one a great sense of power to light a match on top of Winston Churchill's head. And the King said: 'where's my daughter?' And they answered: 'she's in bed with tonsillitus." "That son-of-a-buck!" said the King. "Is he back in the kingdom again?! And the King said "bleep!" and all the nobles drained their bowels, for the King's word was the law in those days. You know who that guy on the ship was? It was Albert Einstein!
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