From: goldenapple@thepentagon.com.HAIL.ERIS (Arsenic) Subject: Re: Proposed Annexation of alt.religion.wicca Date: 16 Jul 1999 00:00:00 GMT Message-ID: <goldenapple-ya02408000R1607992208190001@news> Organization: Oddflonkers Local #2317 Newsgroups: alt.control,alt.fan.karl-malden.nose,alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk,alt.flame,aus.flame
In article <378eadfc.7002647@news1.abac.com>, JKMeowington@hotmail.com (Archangel WOGHD) JBH@&$#*($Y&#@y8BFSDIJ&*(U8r79&(^¶Ç¥¨–×UÏ°ÎÞ°Îݶ¥¨–ÏýþÏ©¥¨šçHOLD IT RIGHT THERE. Who the silicon-dioxide-blooded hell are you anyway? I can't keep track of all of your morphs. Shyte, for all I know, you could be me. Anyway, in article <378eadfc.7002647@news1.abac.com>, you wrote:
* Well, since the 'Nose is in it's annual slump, and I have a little * spare time on my hands, I thought it'd be nice to import a kook to * the litter box.
Why? Have you gotten yourveryowndamnself in a little flamewar, and you're trying to get me involved? Fuhgeddaboutit.
Besides, if the 'Nose (as we affectionately call it) is really in such a slump, which I wouldn't know because it doesn't exist, I'll be happy to suggest some topics for it:
- How do you emphasize "Manic Street Preachers"? Are they street preachers who happen to be manic, or are they simply preachers from Manic Street? - Delaware. Does the world have any use for it? - Regarding the previous question: did it ever? - Whetever happened to Samantha Fox? - Roget's Thesaurus. Billabongs. The moon. Any connection? - What if a Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo suddenly emerged from Al Gore's mysterious middle nostril during his next presidential-campaign speech? - "I Set A Glacier On Fire!": Next Jerry Springer. Discuss. - It's a good thing South Park isn't in Massachusetts. Then there'd be a North Park, a Center Park, an East Park, a Middle Park, a West Middle Park, and a Park. - Is the Dewey Decimal System an Uzbekistani plot to rid the world of Oscar Meyer wieners? - After Dark 3.0 says the plural of piecemeal is "flockmeal." Discuss.
* Please let me introduce Mia Bills, AKA Dragonlady, * but, better known as Drag Queen.
>>>>"Hello, Dreg Queef." >>>"Hello, Arsecrack." >>"I'd like to ignore you." >"Deal."
* Mia is working on her fist KOTM * award, and chose alt.2600 as her stage to lip-sync on, as it were.
Well, good for her. I don't read a2, they don't read me. The two of us have a mutual nonrelationship back and forth betwixt each other. In other words, WSIC?
* A few weeks ago, Drag Queen decided to cross-post some flames from her * home group of alt.religion.wicca to alt.2600 and a few other select * groups.
Big fucking deal. Flames get crossposted all the time. Surely a meower wouldn't object to that?
* Upon being asked to please leave alt.2600 out of the group * list, she decided to attack the group.
Just like demon.local. Surely a meower wouldn't have a hissyfit over this?
* After consulting the tarot, * gazing into he(r) crystal ball, and reading he(r) tea leaves, Drag * Queen pulled her broomstick out of her ass and flew to alt.2600.
Anal reference. DRINK!
* Unfortunately for her, the regs, including a couple of real pagans * (Ambitious Wench and Harlequin) proceeded to shove the broom back up * her ass.
Anal reference. DRI...oops, wrong net-nonpersonality. Sorry 'bout that.
* A diplomatic mission by the Grand Elder of alt.2600
* (Desperado), to alt.religion.wicca showed some promise, but, Drag
* Queen put a hex on it, and the Wicker People are attempting to cast
* spells on the 37337 }-{4><0P\Z of alt.2600. Rather badly, I might
* add.
What did you expect? It's Usenet; did you think anyone would be ~able~ to spell?
* I believe that alt.religion.wicca would make a wonderful addition to * the Empire, and create a strategic alliance between the Empire, it's * present allies, and the haxors.
And I believe that Mars would make a wonderful addition to the Slovak Republic. IOW, Do We Really Need This?
* They can get us 0-day warez, d00ds!
Great, warez that won't even work for a single day. Must be Windows platform.
* Acting as a self-appointed ambassador to alt.2600, I was well received * by a delegation of the groups IRC channel Op's, and was given * permission by the regs to join in the festivities.
You're on a2's side of this? I thought they were the ones getting demonlocalled! Be consistent, bitch!
* This was really * quite amazing, considering I perfomed a short piece of UPA in the * group late last year, and really pissed off several of them by * sockpuppeting their ancient enemy, Archangel.
You ~are~ Archangel, Archangel! UPA pissed them off? And you're on their side? You're not really from Meow, are you? You're just a goddamned PARODY, aren't you? A featherpluckin' TROLL! L1NUX! TR0LL!!1! LiNu><!!2! Tr()lL!!3!
* Instead of holding a * grudge, they have the common sense to realize that Usenet is a sport, * not a way of life.
You're for real. You are really speaking for Meow at this moment. I worry.
* Hell, a couple of them even said they enjoyed it..
And they should be encouraged to read the 'Nose, and post to it. Meow shouldn't invade their own group for it.
* In short, alt.2600 embodies the very spirit of Meow, by their * appreciation of good flame.
Meow is not a flame organization. Remember what happened to the DMV? Pathetic. Anyone tries to equate Meow with flame, they get laughed outta town. Mind you, I have nothing ~against~ flaming, I can certainly ~appreciate~ good flame, but it is ~not~ the spirit of Meow. I wasn't one of the original 1996 Meowers (you might have been, I don't know who you are, and your Arizona NNTP host ain't helpin' me figger it out), but after two years on the UPA groups, I feel qualified to say that the spirit of Meow's burning center is in **Usenet as an art form**.
Takamura didn't do much flaming, if any, but he is held in very high esteem by Meow. Why? Because of his application of Usenet as an art form (the Luxmee cascades, his ASCII art, the big "CENSORED" box, "I am previously saying what you are saying", etc.). Raoul flames a bit, but he's not very good at it; however, his passion for cascading has kept many a thread in existence for months on end. The 2-Belo has posted some awesome flames, but he is the most vehement of all Meowers in insisting that Meow is not, not just a flame organization, but any type of organization at all.
See where this is going? Flame has nothing to do with Meow. Just because several Usenetters flame under the Meow banner does not mean the two are somehow entwined. Don't let yourself get confused.
* They deserve the help of the Empire and * it's allies, while Drag Queen and he(r) supporters have got their * pointy hats on just a littttle too tight.
Why the smeg does a2 deserve the help of the Empire? If they get pissed at UPA, I'd expect the Empire to agree to a swift demonlocallization of it. If they appreciate good flame, they deserve to fight their own battles without Meow becoming involved.
And another thing: what in the unspeakable true name of the Most Holy Shit has a2 done to suffer the help of the Empire's allies? Flonkers certainly aren't flamers; imagine if AAVFFF were on a2's side of a flamewar:
Balloo: "As the Empire of Meow's incompetent, verbose self-proclaimed nemesis Biil Palmjob would say, you are a pusillanimous turdlicking blah blah blah. May the audacious wrath of two thousand six hundred descend upon you, and may you not like it one little fscking bit."
Flaagg: "You Are A Retard."
Smee: "sniff*pluck*nuke*stab*smother*napalm*pointystick*poke*poke*poke"
JungleAcid: "get in the pit and try to flonk someone."
Rocky: "NUKE..." waitaminnit. Anyone know what happened to Rocky?
Anyway, you see my point. We flonkers may have more fun flaming than anyone else, but we generally don't do any flame damage whatsoever. A quick glimpse at the alt.flame Who's That? will tell you what AAVFFF's reaction to the 1995 a.f invasion (Joel Sutherland, FyRE) was.
Now take a look at the Romathians. alt.romath is led by Elaine, a bitch with an ugly name whose total failure to prevent nonherselfs from using her nonsense word "Romath" makes her a candidate for Three Dollah Biil's soulmate, and consists otherwise of a bunch of fools who, until the Meow Empire annexed a.r, apparently spent all their time making fun of her. Now it's an Imperial ally, and the Flonk and, I suppose, the 'Nose must paddle its way through dregs like "rbobey rta fnilayl usse a splelchekcre!"
May I now direct your attention to Meow's fellow empire, New Scotland? Apparently posting from alt.mcdonalds.crew, a historically anti-McDonald's newsgroup, they just might be useful in a flamewar against the braindead cheeseburgerophiles of alt.pave.the.earth; but honestly, is "go suck a french fry" enough to incite a non-guffaw reaction from a reg of a Wiccan group? And speaking of French things, there's a Nova Scotia in Canada and a New Caledonia in French Polynesia. Emperor JB, I have a hunch. Can you say "ribbit"?
The last member nation of the Alliance that I can think of is comp.sys.mac.advocacy. csma itself is a good idea; I'm a Mac user myself, and I'll state my belief that a Mac more than makes up in user-friendliness its shortcomings as a programmer's haven. In fact, a newsfroup devoted, even in name only, to comp.sys.mac.advocating would be very attractive to me for discussing, say, the merits of various 'Kaleidoscope' desktop schemes, or whether or not a Y2K patch exists for a System 6.0.8-running Mac Plus that reaches "nuke" after 2003.
Still, though, I doubt that a Mac lovers' group would be a good thing to place on the side of a2 during a flamewar. I don't even know the significance of the number 2600, but it sounds like a programmers' or hax0rz' forum, neither of which would seemingly be very Mac-condoning.
* If the Wicked Wicker People are allowed to distribute their cheap * boring flames to alt.2600 now, then it's only a matter of time before * they decide to take on the big boys.
They fuck with a.f, & a.f'll fuck with them. The 'Flame will probably kick ass against a ng devoted to a coincidentally trendy religion and not to flaming. And That's The Aleph And The Tav Of It. There Be No More.
* Might as well stomp their asses * into the ground now, while the stakes hot.
No. If th' witches want a piece o' a.f, I'll be happy t' scoop out a heapin' helpin' for 'em. Granted, it'll probably have more'n a bit o' HFW in it, but that's just th' way th' commodius vicus recirculates.
* To that end, I ask that alt.religion.wicca be added to all group * lines, and that cascades fill the Wiccans, verily, unto the ends of * the Net.
No again. I have far too much respect for Meow to go along with that. Our Alliance can now be said to include:
alt.fan.karl-malden.nose alt.syntax.tactical alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk alt.cesium alt.flame (with many Meow associates participating in flamewars) aus.flame alt.control (satellite of aavfff populated by yours truly) alt.flame.niggers (forcibly annexed by the 'Nose) alt.non.sequitur alt.romath alt.mcdonalds.crew alt.clubs.just-for-fun alt.alt.alt.alt.alt (who probably don't want the first thing to do with flame) comp.sys.mac.advocacy
...along with many empty newsgroups (hello, alt.college.college-meow), crosspost dumps (ahoy, alt.cascade), former crosspost dumps (word up, alt.butt.harp), flonk allies with nothing 'Nosey about them (salutations, alt.basement.graveyard), and groups I've probably forgotten about.
Isn't this a bit much to keep track of? Remember the five-part cycle of all societies: Verwirrung, Zweitracht, Unordnung, Beamtenherrschaft und Grummet? AKA Ingression, Progression, Aggression, Digression, and Regression? Well, the 'Nose is in the Digression stage right now. Let me elaborate:
Ingression, or Chaos, was before 1996. Groppi and lots of nongroppies posting about groppily groppish things. A slight awareness of the Flonk was the only connection to the Nose of today.
Progression, or Discord, was kicked in in 1996 with Dontonio Wingfield's fateful crossposting of the Matt Bruce meowings to many many newsgroups, excluding the Nose itself. (It is said that Pontius Pilate was actually the first Meower, because he cross-posted Jesus to Hell and back.) It came into full throttlage when the 'Nose invaded alt.tv.beavis-n-butthead. These were the "good old days" of Meow, when the 'Nose was more concerned with Usenet Performance Artist rights, and trolling, than fuckheadbashing.
Aggression, or Confusion, may well have started in January 1997 with the first appearance of the name "BiilBerT". Now, Meow had a full-time enemy, HFW. Since then, Meow has closely followed around the ass of alt.flame. A.F became almost entirely either pro-Meow or anti-Meow. Whatever Meow or a.f did, the other was sure to blindly copycat. Remember the AFN invasion? Of course you do. That was a fully not-completely-well-but-still-organized invasion of a newsgroup with a clear Enemy Of Meow in mind: not Whoever Feeds The Troll, but the (d)regs of AFN. The AFN invasion quickly became the Anti-FyRE Demon.Local Invasion without even a hiatus by El Brujo. Meow wasn't just having fun any more. Meow was a full-throttle Force. Still not a very organized one, mind you, nor did it want to be, but it was a Force, and everything it Forced was squeezed back to the 'Nose.
Digression, or Bureaucracy, was ignited when the Alliance formed between the Empire of Meow and the Empire of New Scotland. More groups have joined the alliance faster than you can swing a rapidly dying cat, and now you're trying to enter another predetermined Flamewar, but this time you're looking to add YET ANOTHER ng to the Alliance. Fuck that. Infuse enough groups to the Nose, and pretty soon someone will do something Bad. A new DMVesque venture, perhaps. A faction of Meow will break off and pursue its own interests faster than you can say "Fucking fuckity fuck fuck". Meow start flaming faction. Faction start flaming Meow. Nose consumed with civil war. Empire Fall Down Go Boom.
All because Meow started incorporating ~everybody~ into a semipolitical Alliance when all they wanted to do was have a bit of fun and experiment a bit with USENET AS AN ART FORM!!!1!
This Does Not Compute, Dammit.
* Meow.
a.r.w removed.
a.2 removed.
Annexation of arw on behalf of a2 disapproved of by me.
alt.control added to Newsgroups: line.
AND I WILL NOT SIT IDLY ON MY ASS WATCHING UPA FLOAT HAPPILY DOWN SHIT CREEK.
BITCH.
-- Lewis «Arsenic» Bateman mhm 15x11 &cetera
"The words I'm singing now
Mean nothing more than meow to an animal"
- They Might Be Giants
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