alt.horror.werewolves Frequently Asked Questions version 1.0 compiled by Uncle Eric Bischoff
Q.) What is alt.horror.werewolves?
A.) alt.horror.werewolves is a territory newsgroup of the Empire of Meow.
Q.) What is the Empire of Meow?
A.) See the MEOW/AFK-MN FAQ at http://afk-mn.eist.co.jp/faq.html
Q.) When did alt.horror.werewolves become part of the Empire?
A.) Back in the winter of 1997, an AHWW member named Windigo the Feral
aka Follower of the Clawed Albino (FotCA) appeared in
news.admin.net-abuse.usenet claiming that the Meowers were invading
her group, despite the fact that they had never heard of it. (S)he[1]
ranted endlessly about how Altopia, the USENET provider of many
Meowers at the time, needed to be UDPed.[2] She also whined about
how she was going to file charges and put everyone who was trolling
her newsgroup in jail. Needless to say, fuckheadedness of this
caliber resulted in a predictable response from Meow. The newsgroup
was reduced to a Smoking Crater(TM) and occupied by the Empire.
[1] Confusion about her gender? Well you see, Windigo believed she was
able to 'P-Shift'[3] into a male werewolf.
[2] Usenet Death Penalty. A practice by which news servers prevent any
and all posts from a rogue server from appearing on their servers.
Usually used against sites that permit spam.
[3] To be answered shortly...
Q.) What was this newsgroup about before its assimilation into the Empire?
A.) This newsgroup was a gathering place, not for people to talk about
werewolves in classic horror and literature and movies, as you might
think, but instead for a bunch of delusional fucks who ACTUALLY
BELIEVED they were werewolves!
Q.) You mean these people REALLY THOUGHT they could turn into werewolves?
A.) Yup. Clealy sir, have played Dungeons & Dragons a little too much.
Q.) You're making this shit up!
A.) Nope. You can see for yourself, some of the kooks still post here!
Q.) OK, what is P-Shifting. I keep hearing the kooks talking about it.
A.) P-Shifting is the word the werewolves use to mean the action of
turning into a werewolf.
Q.) Who is Kamatu?
A.) Kamatu (Jim Hershey) is the biggest fuckhead currently operating here.
He claims to have trolled the Meowers into alt.horror.werewolves in a
lame attempt to get publicity for his "singing werewolf" country music
CD. His usual flame technique is as follows.
Step 1: Claim that he never said something that he did.
Step 2: Whine out a "Post proof"
Step 3: When proof IS posted, he claims he was trolling all along.
He also is a disgusting netcop and has contacted the Attorney General
of Washington State in an attempt to shut down Altopia (alt.net). He
also believes for some reason that Azzy (Rev. Meowatilla Al'Rashad,
other aliases) is Chris Caputo's abuse department. He has, in typical
Kamatu fashion, presented no proof for this other than his own delusions.
He is, quite simply put, the werewolf equivalent of Tim Thorne.
Q.) Who is Jaue Lang?
A.) If Kamatu is the werewolf equivalent of Tim Thorne, then Jaue Lang
is the equivalent of Bill Palmer. She is, without a doubt, among the
top 10 stupidest, most inspid, clueless retards ever to post to
USENET. She managed to pick herself up a case of HAPPY99.EXE, for
fuck's sake! Her mangling of the English language is second only to
that of Palmjob. She believes Jerry Garcia of the Greatful Dead is
still alive and working for the FBI and sent her a "cookie" which
fried her hardware. She has admitted to verbally assaulting people
on the street for no reason while walking her dog. She also has
quite a narcissistic streak to go with her paranoia. She has utterly
resisted any and all attempts to provide her with a clue.
Q.) What are Bellowers?
A.) The Bellower Society began on this newsgroup in response to some
of Jaue Lang's posts complaining about invasions from "meowers,
flonkers, and bellowers". Before that, the only place the "bellowers" existed
was Jaue's mind. See the Bellower Mini-FAQ for more details on how
you too can become a bellower.
Q.) What are Flonkers? Romathians? New Scots?
A.) These are some of the allies of the Empire. They, like us, are
dedicated to Usenet Performance Art. The Flonkers come from
alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk and now have a website at
flonk.org. The Knights of the Ancient Garter of Romath come from
alt.romath, and do not have a website as far as I know. The Empire
of New Scotland is based in alt.mcdonalds.crew, and has a website
at http://www.geocities.com/emperorjb/.
Q.) So what is off-topic here?
A.) Kooks who think they are werewolves are off topic and will be flamed
and ridiculed for the entertainment of the Empire. Posting in HTML
like a Jiffy Club twit or Kamatu is also off topic and will result
in you being flamed to a crisp and your stupidity being crossposted
all over USENET.
Q.) Is crossposting allowed here?
A.) Crossposting is encouraged, especially to the 'Nose.
Q.) I don't like you guys and I'm going to get you UDPed and TOSsed so
we can TAKE BACK this newsfroup for the WERE WOLVES!!!!!!!
A.) Netcop.
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