They Wuz Kung Fu Fighting
Poor Mike Given has broken
One too many board with his head


In a stunning feat of utter stupidity, Mike Given announces to the world that ~all~ of my targets are girls.
  Nevermind, of course, that most of the people listed on here, are guys. That doesn't matter in Mikey's world. See, he's got a hard head, and he's been using it to break cinderblocks and cedar boards. Eventually, that jarred his brain a bit loose. and this, what you see below, is the sad result.   Please, have pity on him.

From asphalt@gipco.org Tue Feb 11 04:45:26 2003
From: Mike Given 
Newsgroups: soc.men,soc.singles,alt.usenet.kooks
Subject: Re: get your cool music here!
Message-ID: <oerh4vosntc49vndlotfp52bbmra5pna4o@4ax.com>
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On 11 Feb 2003 06:43:30 GMT, spooge@petitmorte.net wrote:
>One of the boys from soc.men, who wants so much to be
>me froged: "spooge@petitwart.net"  wrote in
>news:3e61ec06.52931021@news.sf.sbcglobal.net:
>> NNTP-Posting-Host: 64.164.38.222
>> X-Complaints-To: abuse@prodigy.net
>> X-Trace: newssvr13.news.prodigy.com 1044900960 ST000 64.164.38.222
>I agree with this post from one of my soc.men victims.

  Actually, 'no', that'd be from our resident soc.singles kook Steve
Chaney.  Steve purports to hate bullies yet he tries to be a bully
more
than anything else; lately his targets have all been girls.  He's such
a
rough and tumble guy, ya know.
  He fancies himself technically superior to all and sundry because he
has a PC with three sound cards installed.

>BTW, Sunshine, you'll want to use this updated .sig the next
>time you feel the urge to make a public declaration of my
>ownership of your braincase.

  Actually this is Steve's PatentedBrilliantStrategy to try to shut
your
website down by encouraging Usenet denizens to hose your bandwidth
allocation.  Steve gets a chubby every time he pulls a stunt like
that.

Mikey (..but likely a very, very *small* chubby..)

  Of course, I remind him, then, of all the dumbfuck guys who have been my targets, both now and in the past. Turtoni, Mike, chaim, Dutton anyone?

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From: gunhed57@vegetus.pacbell.net (Steve Chaney, aka Mister Gunnykins
®)
Newsgroups: soc.men,soc.singles,alt.usenet.kooks
Subject: Mike Given says spooge@petitmorte is a girl
Organization: This site is just TOO COOL for a counter!
http://www.self-acceptance.to
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References:    <3E3E86F8.9050901@
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On 12 Feb 2003 06:05:36 GMT, "spooge@petitmorte.net"
 wrote:

>Mike Given  wrote in
>news:oerh4vosntc49vndlotfp52bbmra5pna4o@4ax.com:
>
>> On 11 Feb 2003 06:43:30 GMT, spooge@petitmorte.net wrote:
>>>One of the boys from soc.men, who wants so much to be
>>>me froged: "spooge@petitwart.net"  wrote in
>>>news:3e61ec06.52931021@news.sf.sbcglobal.net:
>>>> NNTP-Posting-Host: 64.164.38.222
>>>> X-Complaints-To: abuse@prodigy.net
>>>> X-Trace: newssvr13.news.prodigy.com 1044900960 ST000
64.164.38.222
>>>I agree with this post from one of my soc.men victims.
>>
>>   Actually, 'no', that'd be from our resident soc.singles kook
Steve
>> Chaney.  Steve purports to hate bullies yet he tries to be a bully
more
>> than anything else; lately his targets have all been girls.  He's
such a
>> rough and tumble guy, ya know.

Well well well, I didn't know spooge was a girl.
Or Bob.
Or Mark Sobolewski.
Or DrSquare.
Ohmigod. Those are all girls?


>>   He fancies himself technically superior to all and sundry because
he
>> has a PC with three sound cards installed.
>>
>>>BTW, Sunshine, you'll want to use this updated .sig the next
>>>time you feel the urge to make a public declaration of my
>>>ownership of your braincase.
>>
>>   Actually this is Steve's PatentedBrilliantStrategy to try to shut
your
>> website down by encouraging Usenet denizens to hose your bandwidth
>> allocation.  Steve gets a chubby every time he pulls a stunt like
that.
>
>Seriously?  He thought that would happen?  What a maroon he is.

I forgot one basic rule.
Nobody wants to download shitty music that sounds like claws scraping
across chalk.

Sillyme.


-- Steve
º¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤º
Steve Chaney
gunhed57@vegetus.pacbell.net
Remove "Vegetus." to get my real email address

  Yelping like a squashed rat, he backflips furiously like thus:

From: Mike Given 
Newsgroups: soc.men,soc.singles,alt.usenet.kooks
Subject: Re: Mike Given says spooge@petitmorte is a girl
Message-ID: 
References: <3e4cdcdc.20179943@news.sf.sbcglobal.net>  <3e42ec2b.632733@news.sf.sbcglobal.net>
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sbcglobal.net> 

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spooge@petitmorte.net wrote:
>gunhed57@vegetus.pacbell.net (Steve Chaney, aka Mister Gunnykins ®)
>>"spooge@petitmorte.net" wrote
>>>Mike Given  wrote:
>>>>spooge@petitmorte.net wrote:
[...]
>>>>>>NNTP-Posting-Host: 64.164.38.222
>>>>>>X-Complaints-To: abuse@prodigy.net
>>>>>>X-Trace: newssvr13.news.prodigy.com 1044900960 ST000
64.164.38.222
>>>>>I agree with this post from one of my soc.men victims.
>>>>Actually, 'no', that'd be from our resident soc.singles kook
>>>>Steve Chaney.  Steve purports to hate bullies yet he tries to
>>>>be a bully more than anything else; lately his targets have
>>>>all been girls.  He's such a rough and tumble guy, ya know.
>>Well well well, I didn't know spooge was a girl.

  Well well well, spooge wasn't regularly posting in soc.singles.
  Phoobilee, catbrier, Jade, and veronika are (or were) posting here;
I
know one of the aforementioned is a girl and currently have no reason
not to believe the other three aren't.
  So as far as soc.singles is concerned, Steve picks the majority of
his
forgery hissy fits with girls.

>You were playing tha part of a punchbag for me, Steve, not
>a "bully".

  Which is why I said "he tries".  He's only ever actually succeeded
once.  Some chyk with the handle 'catbrier' said she thought Jennifer
Lopez has a big ass (which she does) and Steve forged garbage under
her
ID until she got disgusted and left - all in the name of "fat
acceptance".  He forges veronika because she likes to smoke a bit of
weed, and what Phoo has done do get under Steve ever-so-thin skin is
still something of a mystery to me.  Whoever Jade is seems to be
Stuttering Steve's current target.
  Makes ya wonder about someone who so enjoys pretending to be a
woman.

>So whatever Mike is talking about, it wasn't related to my
>treatment of you.

  You should see the new headers in soc.singles this morning; my name
seems to be bandied about in multiple subject lines this fine day, all
from Steve.
  He's the absolute biggest pussy and crybaby we have here; there
isn't
a KotM award big enough or shiny enough to really do him justice.

>Now about that personal advise stuff you were doing a while back.

  Ask Steve about self-acceptance.org, his personal "deathstar" that
he
couldn't afford $35 a year to maintain, now owned by some real-estate
company in Colorado.  Looks like that work-at-home thing isn't so very
profitable after all.  Then again, it would probably help if he didn't
spend all that time forging posts on Usenet.  I might also even wonder
how many hours a day he logs on his super-cool XBox video game system
if
I actually could give a shit.
  Or perhaps y'all could have a discussion on the indigeonous koala
population of New Zealand.
  Maybe you could ask him about patrolling the school zone looking for
young boys that are being bullied by other boys; he likes to pick them
up and give them a ride.
  And if you can believe him (and I personally do not), he's actually
courageous enough to feed rat poison to dogs that bother him too.
He's
also proud of his prowess in arranging for women to be stranded in
unfamiliar neighborhoods without a ride home.  Yessiree, Steve is an
AllAmericanHero (or more likely, biggest phoney-ass liar).
  The boy is definitely a poster-child material for a.u.k.  And he'll
keep right on going too; he's like a wind-up toy that winds itself.
Most of us here in soc.singles have gotten tired of bitch-slapping
him,
so do feel free.

>Is your email address at Hushmail still working?  Some of the
>soc.men boys need help with their personal relationships.

   Well, ya at least know that Steve has plenty of time on his hands
anyway.

Mikey (..he's the King of All teh Usenet.)

  One thing is true; Mike Given is the king of all backpedals, and he owns a gold medal in breaking cinderblocks (and keyboards) with his skull.

  Mike Given was then brutally spanked by a woman named Nubianne Kthulah Black, like so:
From kthulah-no-spam@cotse.com Fri Feb 14 14:33:57
2003
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@paul.washington.dc.us> <3e5ab695.44247877@news.sf.sbcglobal.net>
 
<3e5f3ed1.15237418@news.sf.sbcglobal.net>
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Steve Chaney, aka Mister Gunnykins =AE wrote:

> On Thu, 13 Feb 2003 23:17:52 -0000 (GMT), "Kthulah"
>  wrote:
>
> >Z7@Area54.org wrote:
> >
> >> In article <3e5ab695.44247877@news.sf.sbcglobal.net>, Steve
Chaney,=20
aka=20
> >Mister
> >> Gunnykins =AE says...
> >> >
> >> >He is marrying someone he met offline, but she was someone who
met =
him
> >> >through a former girlfriend he met online, so in effect, she is
a
> >> >direct consequence of his online ventures.
> >> >
> >> >Whatever works, I say.
> >> >
> >> >This is truly a great event.
> >> >Steve Chaney
> >>
> >> It can be safely assumed that your "online ventures" will only
serve=
=20
to=20
> >scare
> >> the living shit out of every woman who is unfortunate enough to=
20
stumble=20
> >onto one
> >> of your jaunticed epistles.
> >
> >
> >Why would a woman be afraid of a guy for saying that he is
unattracted=
=20
to=20
> >us because we support an anorexic ideal?
>
> He's saying that miguel, turtoni, Marty, Bob, DrSquare, and
VilleBill
> are scared shitless of me.


Ah...the girls.

Oh, and by the way...

_Always a Woman to G_

(Sung to the tune of that "Always a woman to me" song.  I hope Mike
can laugh at himself today.)

You have a penis and hair on your chest
You look like a man when I pull up your dress
You piss standing up and you shave with Gilette
But when Steve insults you, you look like a woman to me....

There's sperm in your hands when you show things to Char
You worry of numb nuts but won't drive a car
You taunt all the fat chicks and slap boney knees
But since you cry to Kim you're always a woman to me...

Oh...You should look at yourselves...
Such a crotchety bunch...
Of complaining banshees...

Oh...Such persecuted hens...
On both sides of the fence...
Whichever side Steve's not...

You dick size with women, demand they submit
To your authoritaah when you're full of shit
And when you're sent packing you cry foul and bleed
And this is why Mike thinks, "You guys are but women to me."


--=20
Kthulah -  http://www.kthulah.com
P<(o)>etry Editor: http://www.shoggoth.net
"A physical state of supremacy, through which he, who inherits this
fa=E7=
ade,=20
excels against Nature=92s storm -- that I love. Physical abominations
who=
se=20
facades superficially convey health but whose bitter inner-workings=20
accommodate disease -- that I detest."
--- Dante E. Battista from his work _Genesis_     ~3oK~

  Obviously, she isn't the first person to smack him down. Mike Given says he's been shot. Twice.
From: Mike Given 
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Die like a goddamned slave, yojimbo
Message-ID: <q9je6vobq12qd82r7acg5q1cfv8c6ov79o@4ax.com>
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miguel wrote:
>Steve Chaney wrote:
>>Mike Given wrote:
>>>Steve Chaney wrote:
>>>>If all he has is a knife, then I'm gonna fix 'im up
>>>>and make HP Lovecraft proud while I'm doing it.
>LAX

  Yah, Grandmaster Stretchy-P is *so* tough.

>>>And you might just stand trial for murder.
 Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
>>>But of course the likelihood is that you'll still
>>>run away;
>LAX

  Technically speaking, Steve didn't run away then; he shot his mouth
off, then he just shat himself and never showed up.  You don't have to
rnu away if you never show up in the first place.
  Of course with Stretchy-P's alligator mouth on his jaybird ass I don't
think anyone really expected him to show.

>>As opposed to you telling us your big brave stories
>>about parrying bullets with your Wonder Woman bracers,
>>of course.
>Got reality issues?  Yes.

  "Wonder Woman".  "Lara Croft".  Yah, Stretchy-P has got a grip, but it
aint on reality, that's fer sure.
  Considering that I've received two gunshot wounds in my life I think
we can safely conclude that:
  a) I'm incapable of blocking bullets (or shotgun pellets).
  b) You can live through being shot, and even walk 11 blocks to the
nearest emergency ward for treatment.
  c) Steve Chaney is a coward.
  d) Steve Chaney is a liar.
  e) Steve Chaney is a pussy.

  Canader, these are all 101% FACT!

  STEVE CHANEY, TURN OFF THE X-BOX AND DRINK THE KOOL-AID NOW!

>>Since you missed it, the point was, she's just a 
>>fucking acquaintance who expects him to lay down his
>>life for her while she stands there like some 
>>scaredy cat yelling "ahhhhhhhhh! aieeeeeeeee!"
>>The guy knew he was considered expendable if something
>>like that happens.
>Chaney, I've seen surgical waste with more inherent value
>than you.

  Grandmaster Stretchy-P says "any time, any place".
  But we all know he's just lying on himself to look tough.

>>I ain't expendable. And I won't be treated as such.
>Chaney, your highest and best use is as landfill.

  Not in my backyard.

>>>>I do not bail on friends; but I do not care to die for 
>>>>someone I barely know.
>See, the deal is that you are such a coward you'd expect to
>get killed.

  That is a reasonable expectation, or at least certainly a
consideration that one must evaluate.
  But I think Stretchy-P's problem is that he can't take even the
slightest morsel of pain.

>Crash and Mikey figure they've got a chance by staying.

  If there isn't a firearm involved it'd be a damn good chance.

>Unless you insist on your gun scenario.

  Grandmaster Stretchy-P gonna put a cap in yo ass.
  Just so long as it isn't at the airport.

>>>The scenario as presented seemed to me a fair bit 
>>>more than just "barely know[n]" but something seemingly
>>>less than "dear friend".  Still, most of my office 
>>>mates, even the ones I don't much care for, and having 
>>>no bearing whatsoever on whether they're male or female,
>>>are still worth my not running away.
>>If you say so, yojimbo.
>>I can see them now. They'll all go ducking for cover and
>>leave you to face the music.

  Funny when Stretchy-P talks about co-workers like he's ever had any
other than the kids at the Burger King.

>>Expendabilty, it's what's for dinner.
>Expect to get your ass whipped?
>STEVE CHANEY, YOU CAN DO THAT!!!
>ps LAX

  Heh.
  Bad-ass medical claims processing boy gonna come down hard on you.

>>>>Women cut and run in such situations a hundred
>>>thousand million times a day in front of God and
>>>everyone
>>>Did that just hurt when you pulled yet another of
>>>your make-believe statistics out of your ass?
 Scratch the million part.
>>>>and they have no fucking problems at all showing
>>>>their faces afterwards.
>>>To their shame then.  My women friends are better
>>>people.
>>You are completely full of fucking bullshit and you know it.

  The Grandmaster Stretchy-P debating technique:  When he knows someone
has caught him out in one of the ususal lies, quick call that person a
liar and hope no one picks up on the Stretchy-P lies.

>LAX

  Betchya Stretchy-P still owes Jeem $100 too.

Mikey (.. f) Steve Chaney is a welch.)
ps. Stretchy-P wins again!
pps. Stretchy-P always wins!
ppps. Yo, yo, Stretchy-P gonna shoot me, Yo!

So how did this Wonder Woman bullet blocking board breaking kung fu master manage to get shot twice? Clues abound...

From: Mike Given 
Subject: Leave a place for Elijah (was: Re: Weight Lifting Question....)
Date: 2000/06/20
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NNTP-Posting-Date: Tue, 20 Jun 2000 00:37:39 EDT
Newsgroups: soc.singles


gunhed@surf.side.net (Steve Chaney) wrote:
>On Mon, 12 Jun 2000 04:24:39 GMT, Mike Given frothed:

  Ah, yes, classic Chainee:  Can't think up his own inflammatory
vocabulary, so borrows mine.

>>gunhed@surf.side.net (Steve Chaney) wrote:
>>>Mike Given  wrote:
>>  Sometimes ya just never believe that the same old stinky piece of
>>bait you've been using for years still works so well.
 
>Next time try not being in the water with the shark when you're waving
>it around.

  Yah, right.  A pudgy guppy with a fin glued to its back does not a
shark make.

[...]
>Seeing as the last flamewar between you and me ended with me playing
>music with your ribcage.

  Uh-huh.  Sure.  Funny that you're the only one that seems to
remember it that way.

>>>Which is to say it's false.
>>Could you just answer the question instead of evading it?
>>C'mon, one more time - just for me.  Who's name was on the plate?
 
>If I answer it you'll just say Seth's name wasn't on it.

  Now why would I say a thing like that, I wonder?

>I don't fucking care whose name was on it - but god damn, you must
>really care. You've been holding this grudge against me for years.

  It's not a grudge; it's the one lie that you've come up with that
never really said anything about anyone but yourself.  It's an
archeological example of your former and continued lack of any sort of
courage, integrity, and honesty.  I have no real "grudge" against you;
I don't even know you.

>It's 10pm, do you know where your brain is?

  Irrelevant.  I don't need it when I'm replying to the likes of you.

>>>You're an idiot, Mike,
>>  No doubt about that.
>I can't make this stuff up...

  No shit.  You just plagiarize other people's material.  Big
surprise, that.

>>What, you mean you'll evade the point and lie again like you have
>>every other time I've spanked your fat dyslexic ass around?
>Oh look another fat people hater. That wipes out half your family
>right there.

  Point evaded.

[...]
>>>called on for your endorsement of Jim's bigotry
>>Show me where I endorse *any* fucking thing Jeem says.
>All these mountainous transgressions going on

  Like what?  All I see here is bidness as usual.

>and you have to come in here and harp over some fucking plate like it
>somehow matters in the grand scheme of things.

  That plate thing really bothers ya, don't it?

  Heh.  Knew it would.  As Jackie is fond of saying, "all too easy".

>Oh I forgot I don't write in a way in which you can comprehend me.

  Whereas you *are* difficult to follow sometimes because you change
the subject more often than Imelda Marcos changed her shoes,
understanding you is reasonably easy.  Almost predictable.

>Oh I know what's up with you. If Seth's name WASN'T on that plate it
>means I'm gulty of the worst crime in the world. Whatever it is.
 
  Lying and cowardice.  No biggie in your book, I guess.

>>It'd be interesting to count the number of times the word "nigger"
>>appears in Jeem's posts 
>You misspelled "email from friends"

  Ya know, if you could dodge bullets the way you evade points of
discussion you'd be one helluva superhero.

>But anyway you are playing the neutral party in that,

  "Neutral"?  Hm.  I thought I'd said I'd never do such a thing.  Oh
well; it's not like I *expected* any sort of comprehension.

>so I'll let it slide back outta your ass.

  And right down your chin(s).

>Time to get a new pair of Nike's. ergh

  Run away.  Well, *waddle* away, anyhow.

>>compared to the number of times it appears in
>>yours.  I wonder how you think I felt when you got fond of the term
>>"crack-whore", to mention one historical example.
 
>Charlotte advised that this subject be dropped.

  I didn't mention any names other than yours and Jeem's in the
matter.  You, OTOH, seem to be unable to resist dragging other people
into a fracas that I revived 'twixt you and me.  You don't seriously
think that brandishing a friend's name at me will keep me from
pointing out that you're a shitbag little hypocrite now, do ya?

>I advise you drop this Seth's plate thing.

  What, and break the plate?  What kind advice is that? Now what sorta
houseguest do you think I am to be ruining someone else's crockery?

>But you aren't adult enough to do that.

  When you're adult enough to give the answer you know to be true,
perhaps then I'll consider it.  Right now, that meaningless bit of
trivia is downright exemplary of the lack of any sort of personal
integrity and esteem you possess.

>You're perfectly happy masturbate to it and spooge all over yourself
>Which would be a funny as hell sight if you even had a dick to begin
>with.

  Oooh - a "dick" joke!

  BTW, my dick is so big it takes four fat women and a team of
Clydesdales to jack me off.
  Laugh on that for a bit (..and yah, it's a stolen gag, but I'm
betting only a few people know from whence it comes).

>>you might've noticed that I called Jeem an "unmitigated pussy" - how
>>did that make you feel?
 
>Like I'd just read a pathetic attempt at sarcasm.

  Well I'll be damned.  Got it in one.

  So whaddaya think Jeem's response'll be?

>>What kills me is you could've turned the whole thing around on him
>>in a dozen different ways 
>Already done.

  Yah, that'd be why you're posting useless, boring missive about the
level of seriousness on soc.singles.  Sorry Baloo, you missed the boat
already on that one a *long* time ago.

[...]
>Which reminds me
>Have you ever ragged on a fat relative's fatness to their face?

  Yup.  Just three weeks ago I was busting my li'l brother's cookies
about the beer gut he's growing (never thought about it, but his hame
is "Steve" too).  Told him he better get to doing some crunches before
he looks like a Chan^H^H^H^Hfatass.  Two weeks ago at a bar I told
some asshole he's an ugly little fuck that shouldn't have been let out
of his cage (don't fuck with me while I'm having a relaxing game of
billiards).  Last Sunday I told the LO she should gain some weight on
her bony ass; she of course (rightfully) offered the "look who's
talking" defense on that one.
  I've been a rude little fuck for many years, long before I ever knew
this meduim existed.  I also found long ago I don't much get along
with thin-skinned dweebs like you.
  So what's your excuse, pinhead?

>Or do you only play that bullshit on usenet?

  Nope.  That's you who's the Usenet phoney; I'd appreciate if you
didn't get that mixed up.  You could always ask Jeem, Ian, Sue, Vlad,
Charlotte, Trygve (tho it's been a while), or John (to name a few)
about what I'm like off-Usenet.  If you'd like to hear the truth, that
is, as opposed to your fantasies; I'm sure they'd be pleased to inform
you what an obnoxious ratbag I truly am.
  I would offer you a beer at the Philly airport so's you can find out
for yourself but as I've said before, I'm unlikely to hold my breath
for such an event.  Maybe if I made it two beers and a Twinkie?

  (okay, okay - *two* Twinkies - and that's my final offer..)

>You obviously have a big problem with fat folks

  Not at all.  I reserve my venomous attitude for weak points in human
genome like you.  I'm downright friendly to most people what I meet,
even here on the 'Net.  It's just *you* I don't much care for.

>or you wouldn't be acting like my supposed (and nonexistent at 199lbs)

  Steve's under two bills.  Film at eleven.

  (..why did I just get the sudden urge to say "Dyn-o-miiiiiite!")

>obesity is somehow some big fucking piece of flamewar ammunition.

  Only for you, Steve.  Only for you.  Most other people brush it off.
So tell me, what inspired your weight loss binge these days?  I mean,
you're so okay with being a pudge, why bother losing any weight at
all?  Doctor's orders?  

>But that's ok. You can't flame worth shit, but you sure as hell can
>drown me in frothy spittle. Get me a wetsuit dammit.

  He really likes that "froth" word.  I always like it when I can
easily tell that a comment I've made has struck so deep and true.

>>>Be wise. Don't stand around here trying to make up things about me -
>>Don't hafta.  I never fail to be amazed at your level of flexibility
>>in terms of getting both of your own feet in your gaping maw.  And as
>>for "wise", I could squeeze more wisdom out of a zit on my ass than
>>you've managed in your posting history to soc.singles, saving of
>>course the times when you've just plagarized someone else's schtick.
>Omigod look at this tard, bending over backwards just to get his head
>up his ass.

  Well, if *that* just ain't the durned wittiest comeback I've ever
seen in all my days on Usenet.

  ObBenStein:  Wow.

>I heard you get high sniffing your own shit. Sup with tha?

  You should read my recipe for brownies.

>>>which you are doing - when easily substantiated fuckups on your part,
>>Substantiate away.  Can't wait.  Won't hold my breath though.
>Emotional retard. ergh. I have more brains in my pinkie than whatever
>that is that's rattling around inside that empty bucket dangling off
>your droopy little shoulders.

  So you're not going to substantiate anything.  Coulda knocked me
over with a feather on that one.  I see you like that "emotional
retard" line of mine too.  Who was it said that "imitation is the
sincerest form of flattery."?

[...]
>>Yah, that's it - I just do this Usenet thing for the "goodwill
>>points".  Gee, thanks for reminding me 'cuz I almost forgot.  Say,
>>just who *do* I cash in these "points" with anyways?
>Jackie The Tokeman of course.

  I always suspected he was a skee-ball fan.  Of course it's a
well-documented fact that with Jackie and me, well, let's just say
it's a "love thang".

>>'Cuz I just bet
>>I got enough for that overstuffed hyena with the ramen noodle feedbag
>>mounted atop that chick-mobile Schwinn, baby.
>Your mother would not be happy hearing you talk her down like that.

  Oh boy!  We've gone from "dick" jokes to "mom" jokes now!  

>You should like shut your shithole.

  You should stop trying to steal Jeem's material.

>>Damn if you aren't a completely hapless moron.
>And still smarter than you.

  Uh-huh.

>(Wow, holy shit, Mikey is pissed. If he wasn't such an impotent
>fucking flailing freak of nature I'd be worried here.)

  Mikey isn't pissed.  He's amazed and amused.  When Mikey is pissed,
he goes to karate class and gets the bejeezers whupped out of him.  At
this point, I'm just being my usual, sociable self.

>>>That translates to 'most people hate people like Jim Dutton and
>>>spitting on him is a spectator sport.'
>>Woulda been funnier if ya said "expectorator sport".
>Oh look, supertard is trying to rate flames.

  Did you even get the pun?

[...]
>I can't fucking help it if you're too stupid to comprehend me.

  Tell me again how good you are at reading into what Chaim posts.

>>>Do you really wanna keep throwing in your lot with the fucking
>>>Titanic?
>> Made James Cameron a shitload of money, didn't it?
>Fat assed lot of good that did for poor Leonardo when he was given his
>new job

  Yah, well, I think that Brad Pitt should've gotten that gig anyway.

>as fish food

  I'm sure Leo is to be cryink over your insulting him like that.

>>He even fits in the diving suit.  Ever been to the beach, Steve?
>>If so, anyone ever try to roll ya back into the ocean while ya were
>>there? 
>No but I saw your momma beaching herself twice in the same day.

  Reading your flames is like reading a rejected episode of "Welcome
Back, Kotter".  Maybe not even that good.

>Muttering something about how she wished she'd known about birth
>control.

  Who's ya daddy.

>>Render unto Jeem what is Jeem's, but I still think you're a dipshit.
>First you have to be able to think.

  For you?  Naaah.

>-- Steve, I'd suggest training wheels but as you hate bikes and all
>seeing as yo momma kept crushin' em with her ass

  Mom don't do bikes - she crushes taxis between her thighs.

  So one will assume for now that your answer to "who's name was on
the plate?" is "[my] momma".

  You lose.  Again.

Mikey (..it's not like I even hafta win for *that* result..)

  Maybe he's been shot twice because he is so fucking rude, even to his own family.
  Hey Mikey! It's called natural selection. Stupid people like you, often wind up being Darwinized!

  Also note that he walked 11 blocks to the hospital for care. No one stopped by to drive him to the emergency ward. VilleBill would be so proud!!